


I Take Pride In What I Am

by watcher_ofthe_sky



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: F/F, I still don't know how to use tags, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Post-Alvarez Teikoku | Alvarez Empire Arc, ftlgbtpride2019, lost ice shell, mentions of attempting to die, retrospection, they are idiots in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-04-07 15:16:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19087657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watcher_ofthe_sky/pseuds/watcher_ofthe_sky
Summary: A Collection of Drabbles written for the Fairy Tail Lgbtales June 2019 Tumblr Pride event.I have no idea if I will do more.





	1. We will be everything that we’d ever need

**Author's Note:**

> Writing is not my strong feat but I guess I could at least try and take the event as an opportunity.  
> Starting with my comfort pairing.
> 
> Day 2 of “I take pride in what I am” hosted by @ft-wwtdp on Tumblr
> 
> Prompt: “We will be everything that we’d ever need”
> 
> Pairing: Gratsu

Gray stared at the frosty bandages on his arm.

His body was still radiating cold more than the usual. Subconsciously, his skin was dotting itself with ice. The effects of the Lost Iced Shell spell that he had tried to cast before have not worn off till now. His body was taking time to adjust to its body temperature and casting away the excessive coolness that has come as a per se side effect.

He took a sip of the warm tea that Natsu had shoved in his hands a few moments ago and enjoyed its warmth for once.

_“This is what you always do. You throw yourself in abysses and every damn time he has to come to save you,” a voice within Gray said to him._

The ice mage shook his head, trying to ignore it; at the same time, he couldn’t help but notice the truth behind the words.

It wasn’t the fact that it is always Natsu who pulls him out of his darkness which bothered him. If there is anyone in this whole world who is _needed_ to save him, if there is anyone who _can_ save him, it is Natsu. Gray wouldn’t have it otherwise.

What bothered him was the fact that Natsu has to save him at all.

“Am I really this pathetic?” he said to himself.

_“Yes. Yes, you are.”_

Gray closed his eyes, remembering the events that happened at that time. One moment before he was standing with his arms crossed over each other, his ice wrapping Zeref in the shell. In the next moment, he was on the ground with Natsu on top of him, tears streaming down his face, yelling at him to stop.

To live.

Gray snapped open his eyes as the memories turn vivid. He took deep breaths, tried to calm his heart which was speeding in the rib cage. He looked down at his palms when it hit him. He realised the monstrosity of what he had tried to do.

“I promised him that I won’t try it again. And there was I, selfishly trying to kill myself, hell _erase my entire existence_ ,” he said aloud and bit his lips, hard enough to tear out blood.

His caught the salmon pink hair. The Dragon Slayer was sitting beside Lucy, talking animatedly with his wide grin and loud laugh.

Something inside of Gray rippled.

Again, the visions of the incidents flashed before him. But this time it was different.

Zeref’s words echoed in the guildhall. Natsu was going to die.

Natsu was going to _die._

 _Natsu_ was going to die.

And at the moment, Gray knew that he has to do what he had done. Because this is what people do for the people they care about; they sacrifice themselves if it means to bring a ray of happiness for others.

And for Natsu, Gray _knew_ that he will gladly lay down his life.

The ice mage again took a look at him– how his eyes light up with happiness and mischief, as if they have sparks of fire in them. Natsu was made up of noises, laughter, fire, destruction and sunshine. His loudness and optimism was enough for both of them and compensated the lack on Gray’s part.

_“And you clouded his brightness when you did what you did,” the voice said._

Gray knew it was true. He knows that  it’s always better to live. To be in a future where you can be with those for whom you will drop down everything. Because without you, their future won’t be bright.

To be in a future where he could simply be with Natsu.

But does Natsu deserve that?  He who makes even the existence bigger deserve someone like Gray who was messed up in many ways?

“Hey,” a voice said from behind.

Erza came and plopped down next to him.

Gray gave her a small smile in return.

“How are you doing?” she asked.

He dismissively shrugged. “Okay, I guess?”

Erza nodded and let a comfortable silence fall between them.

“Was…Do you think it-it was right?” he said, gesturing to his hands.

She smiled before saying, “We seldom reason with our actions and think of their consequences when we are dealing for the person we love.”

“Don’t you think it is wild and foolish?”

“Well, that is what they say about love.”

Gray smirked at that. “Yeah, right.”

“I think what justifies the aftermath is that you let each other grow; in between all the hell and the good times around you, you take each other’s vulnerabilities, weaknesses and strengths and stand together. There are no right answers, Gray, only right causes and people. You both deserve each other, you have chosen each other. It’s okay to fall and need them; it’s okay to lean on them because that is what trust is. That is what love is.”

Something in Gray lightened; like a fog getting clear. He realised that this is what they have always been– they have always beat the shit out of each other to bring out their best. They have always pushed each other to become better.

They have trusted each other.

They have loved each other.

In that split second, Gray knew that he would be anything that Natsu will ever need. And he knew that Natsu would do the same.

* * *

 

“We will be everything that we’d ever need,” Natsu said to Lucy.

He was watching Gray talking to Erza. He was watching the way his lips slightly curl when he smiles, the way his eyes wrinkle, the way his voice sounds like a calm ocean.

He knew that he has always been way too reckless, not that he was complaining, but he was worried that he had pushed Gray beyond his limits; like he had in some way, demanded him to do the same.

It was until Lucy explained to him that they both are idiots in love who are built that way. At the same time, when you love someone, you live for them and be less heedless.

Natsu knew that they weren’t perfect. And he wouldn’t have things any other way. They communicated more through actions rather than words. Sometimes their every movement screamed that they love each other while they twist their words the other way.

Natsu had been afraid that he was not enough; that somewhere he fails to make them whole; complete.

But now he realised that all they have to do is to simply love each other with so much conviction and all their heart. And that will be more than enough.

Suddenly Gray looked in his direction and their gaze met. He smiled at him and Natsu returned it, because at that moment, he knew that they’ll be each other’s everything.


	2. I Hope People Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because alleys and dimly lit dark streets aren’t meant for sinning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. So, yeah. I decided to continue this. This drabble is completely the result of impulsive 10 minute writing. 
> 
> ....
> 
> Day 4 of “ I take pride in what I am ” hosted by @ft-wwtdp
> 
> Prompt: “I hope people change.”
> 
> Pairing: Lucy x Cana (Lucana)

_I am tired of this place, I hope people change_

_I need time to replace what I gave away_

_And my hopes, they are high, I must keep them small_

_Though I try to resist I still want it all”_

**_—Fools by Troye Sivan_**

 

Cana was plucking out the grass from where the group was sitting near the stream. It’s cherry blossom time and people have come to enjoy the pink beauty of the trees.

She saw Lucy laughing with Erza, her blonde locks swaying with the cool winds; how she is trying to put them behind her ears but failing, as if they are a stubborn child trying their feeble attempt to resist.

She thuds her head against the tree and allows her mind to wander. Her memories hit a lock closed months ago, and suddenly everything pours out.

Her hands are now in that blonde hair, her breath panting against Lucy’s; their lips colliding. They are desperate; hungry; in a rush that is pumping their desires yet shouting to them the fear of getting caught.

Because alleys and dimly lit dark streets aren’t meant for kisses.

The way Lucy moans and arches her back, Cana swears that she looks like a goddess. The way she pins her to the walls and whispers seductively in her ears, her entire beings shatters there. But they are in a wild hurry.

Because alleys and dimly lit dark streets aren’t meant for speaking those magical forbidden words.

She remembers the touch of her skin to her skin, like they are communicating through a language of touch. Like words are too weak to express what they are feeling. Like all that is keeping them from falling apart is their soul becoming one. But they have to be quick.

Because alleys and dimly lit dark streets aren’t meant for making new languages and reaching own heavens.

Her silence doesn’t go unnoticed as Mira touches her knees, asking, “Are you okay, lovely?”

The brunette takes a moment to come to reality and gives her a weak smile.

But she fails by miles because her mind is a flood of the aftermath of their drizzle.

She hears mocking laughter and slurs everywhere. She remembers a hand almost burning her wrist as her fingers slowly untangled themselves from those of Lucy’s. She remembers that hand meeting Lucy’s cheek and making her blood boil with anger. She remembers Lucy’s cries as she begged her dad to let go.

To let her love.

She exhales a deep sigh and mummers, “I hope people change.”

Mirajane’s eyes soften and she slowly allows them to meet the vision of scarlet hair. Finally, she whispers, “Me too.”

Because alleys and dimly lit dark streets aren’t meant for sinning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments make me happy. ^^

**Author's Note:**

> Liked it? Hated it? Tell me what you think. ^^


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